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G'OLDEN VALLEY NEWS "'"
SI-- WINC Cl CLF--
8968
IT'S the new frock young Ameri-
ca loves. You'll see it every-
where this summer in washable
prints. Calico, percale, gingham,
broadcloth and chambray are
ideal for it. The style glorifies fem-
inin~th its low cut
Top Clown
Dan Rice (1822-1900), the most
famous clown in the history of the
American circus, was a friend of
most of the celebrated men of his
time, made and lost several for-
tunes, ran for congress and was
even considered as a presidential
candidate, says Collier's. During
the Civil war, he earned $1,000 a
week, or twice as much as Abra-
ham Lincoln.
square neckline, full gaLhered bod-
ice, tight girdle waistband, girl-
ish puffed sleeves and billowy
gathered skirt. Wear it with a
choker necklace of bright colored
beads[
Patlern No. 8968 is in sizes 12 to 2U,
Size 14 requires 31~ yar~s 36-inch fabric
witi~uut nap; 7~i yards tic rac to trim it
as sketched. For this attrac;ive pattern,
send your order to:
Delicious cold--or "ust heat and eat
Test of Civilization
The true test of civilization is
not the census, nor the size of
SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT.
Room 11Z4
311 W. Wacker Dr. Chicago
Enclose 13 cents in coins for
Pattern No ............... Size ........
Name ....... +....,,...,.,..,..., ...,o,
Address ..............................
Rabbits
Bv LIEUT. B. S. BURKETT
(SicClure Syndicate--WNU Service.)
SAM THORP chuckled faintly
when he slid from his saddle in
front of the little post office and gen-
eral store at Mecaha, Mont., about
noon on an early autumn morning.
He lifted his two jackrabbits out of
reach of a lanky cat and sauntered
to the rear of the building~
Otis Green, postmaster and deal-
er in general merchandise as well
as real estate sin~e the discovery
of oil on the Musselshell, glanced
up from the pile of mail he was sort-
ing.
He grunted a grudging, "Howdy,
Phillips-
THE PAPERS OF PRIVATE
PURKEY
Dear Ma:
I got your letter about not yelling
at anybody on no golf coarses andI
please do not worry as 1 am always
/
a gentleman espeshully since that[
Tenersee division was maid to do a
i
15 mile hike all over again for yell-
ing you hoo at half dressed women
and male golfers looking for lost
balls. From now on I go strictly on
the idea that anybody I see in open
lots may be a general for all I know,
Sam. Whatcha want to argue about Personally I wo;d :ot poke no fun
today?"
Thorp held up the two jackrabbits, at a general on a golf coarse any
8001HE9 CHAFE[} 9KIN "Two dern fat rabbits--been livin' how on account of I like to see them
R(iLIIIE co the ol' lady's lettuce fer a couplathere. The farther a generalis from
months. But I trapped 'era last the camp the less times I get In-
WHITE PETROLEUM JELLY night," said Sam. "Need a leetle spected. This is a war of decep-
coffee mighty bad." tion, ma, and where can a general
Volume to Read ' "Couldn't sell the last ones I find more deception than on a golf
Every man is .a volume, ff youbought from you, Sam. But I'll give I linx? It is also a war of movement
land you don't know what move-
know how to read him.---Channing, you twenty-five cents for 'era both.'"
ments
are
until
you
see
a
middle-
"Uhuh," grunted Sam. "But I
jist heerd you paid the Lamb boys i aged duffer going into his golf swing.
twenty-fi cents apiece fer their rab- a
bits an' them haLf shot to pieces, Generals need exercise like any-
body else but if he is seen walking
too." on a highway he loses face. The
"Best I kin do, Sam. Twenty-five only place he can be seen hiking
or nothing'." five or ten miles a day without be-
"Well, 'tain't fair. But have to ing disgraced is on a golf coarse so
let you take 'era. Dern shame, too. I don't see no sense criticizing Gen-
You sell us poor devils gumbo land eral Lear for being on one that day.
at oil price. Won't. grow nuthin' but a
rattlesnakes an' sage hens." The outfit I am with is very good
"Best geologist in the country mannered and wood not yell at no
says there's oil on the land. I ain't golfers in a ungentlemanly manner.
supposed to have wells sunk to A couple of weeks ago we was pass-
Total of Past ~v prove it, am I? Besides, a trade's aing a linx and Otto Bixby yelled at
The present is the living Sum'Lx~7"g trade with me, Sam. When I git a duffer but he was so deep in a
total of the whole past.--Carlyle. ~" stung I take it as my fault. Ain't trap he could hear no voices unless
'~ no use in you bellyachin' now." they were from China. There was
~,~. "Can't raise nuthin' but rabbits in
the garden an' now you won't even
buy 'era--leastwise, pay only half
ei,
what they's worth."
"A deal's a deal. Ain't no bust-
ness jedgment about you, Thorp. We
HI live on suckers lak you owt heah in
Montanner. Reckon you'd better go
back to Kentuck what you come
~. from."
IHOTEL DACOT : "Thet's what I'm calcerlatin' on.
But I can't sell my land . . ."
i Completely Renovated / ' pound of coffee, shuffled out to his
little sorrel and clambered onto the
GRAND FORKS, N. DAK. B ~:, saddle. He chuckled faintly as he
clucked to the little horse.
Source of Revenue ~ Sam had jus fi is ed the evening
Economy is in itseLf a source ot - chores when Otis Green jerked his
great revenue.---Seneca. .~:, antiquated automobile to a stop at
the front gate.
' ' "Havin' some men fer breakfast
’( and need a couple more rabbits.
~ Got any? Can pay you 25 cents for
,,. ~, these. '
"Now let me see. Caught three
, , this afternoon. Reckon I might as
welt let you have two uv 'em. Nice
meat, too. But they'll cost you 50
cents. See by the paper the price
of rabbits is up a leetle."
Otis spat in the dust, swore a blue
i
J the cities, nor the crops, but in
the kind of men the country turn~
out.--Emerson.
MELS!
THE SMOKE OF SLOWER-BURNING CAMELS CONTAINS
than the average of the 4 other largest-
selling cigarettes tested--less than any
of them--according to independent
scientific tests of the , moke itself I
SMOKE'~ THE TILING!
THE CIGARET OF
streak and grabbed up the rabbits.
From the front seat, he tossed the
money to Sam before ramming his
foot on the accelerator.
Early next morhing, Green and
three companions appeared at Sam's
cabin.
"Air yo' wantin' more rabbits.
Green?" chortled Thorp.
"Nope. Bigger deal this time,"
beamed Otis. "I come to buy this
one sixty of yours. Got some friends
here as witnesses, so we can close
the deal right now."
I'll give you ten dollars an acre fer
the whole one hundred an' sixty."
"Didn't I give you $20 an acre be-
fore I fenced 'er and made all im-
provements?" Sam rasped vehe-
mently.
"Yap, but land ain't what it was
during the war, Sam."
"It'll take just three times what
it cost to buy it back. Sixty dollars
an acre and it's yours. Nary cent
less."
"Yore plum crazy, Sam," Green
shouted in a squeaky voice.
"You can have 'er for my price er
let 'er go. Ain't carin' which."
Green knew Thorp would not come
down, so he gave him sixty dollars
an acre, paying the purchase price
in new shiny bills; Sam was afraid
of checks.
"We're leavin' fer Kentucky to-
morrow, mammy," said Sam, as he
folded the bills with precision.
Green glanced at the other men
and winked.
"Fer once I got you, Sam. Lucky
such a fish as you is leavin' this
country. I saw oil stain on your
shoes and overalls yesterday. So
I came up last night and went
over your place with my flashlight.
1 found oil bubblin' out at three
places. 'Nuf oil here to supply the
whole state for fifty years," said
Green.
"Good geologist, awright. Yuh
found all three spots where there's
oil, jist three of 'em."
"How the hell you know how much
oil's on your place? You ain't ne
geologist," snorted Green.
"Wal, Mr. Green, when I couldn't
find thet oil you told me was on my
land when you sold zt to me, I went
over to the Cat Creek Oil Field, got
five gallons of crude oil, and made
jist three wells for spec'lation. You
found all three uv 'era," came the
level voice of the rabbit man. "But
a deal's a deal," he went on, as he
felt the dry oil stains on his overalls.
"Shore ruins clothes to make'spec'-
lative oil wells, but I reckon hit's
worth the trouble."
FHA Government Agency
Helps You Buy a House
V. 8.
skilled
lcs. Welding,
good job
training,
IS A "home of your own" an un- SCHOOL,
fulfilled dream? Then you will
want to know more about the Fed-
eral Housing Administration, one
of the most important agencies FarmTir*a,
created by the national govern- ertruck. ~$
ment in the past few years. 3Vz', 32x4~"
vln Nertltr~
Loans insured by the FHA have
helped thousands of families---
many making under $2,000 a year Frau
--to buy their own homes. Other ForemoS
government agencies might also who have
be of interest to you. fast indei~
Our ~-page booklet fully describes how
themselves
you can make use of these government ah Jacobs c
agencies, also government-sponsored era- In 1869, aft
ployment and education opportunities, had sworn i
Gives facts on Selective Service. Send
her lips for:
your order to: the girl W~
veillance
starvation
quently, ]
were corn
to prison.
We shall generally fi t t e
triangular person has got into the
a few women players in shorts and square hole, the oblong into the
at first I thought they was fugitives triangular, and a square person The
' has squeezed himself into the money
from ladies day in a turkish bath.
We paid no attention to them, not round hole.--Sydney Smith. . Diane.
even one yoo hoo and the ladies ~ __.
seemed soarer than if we had paid ~ ~.
some notiss to 'em. Women may
get soar If soldiers yell at them but BI !
they mind it worse if they snub 'era.
There was a very pompous looking
man looking for a lost ball near the
highway witch we marched on and
one of the boys made some re-
marks like "Looking for something,
mister?" and "Did you try under iTC#/Nd #O~$E$#Og,f
the bureau?" He did not think much
of it then but ever since reading after dinner became a good
about the General Lear incident he dmerican cestom back ~It t~e "~'~'
has been scared stiff for fear the man 18M century w~e# th/$ $~ort
was a officer and got his descrip- #~kt/~placeofq#o/t$,
tion. , ,
EQUALLY ENJOYABLE before and
Personally I think General Lear is after dinner ii the good Amer/can custom
getting worse punishment than his of smoking mtld, fragrant King Edwards,
troops and I bet he wishes he never America's fastest sell/ng cigar. For a cool,
played golf in his life. I think peo- mellow ~moke, light up a King
pie are rubbing it in. Dissipline is today.
dissipline in a army and most of the
boys here do not think a army
should give Bronx cheers to nobody
on the line of march and espeshully
not to ladies no matter if they wear
shorts or whoopskirts. This is a
all out war but we should not be all
out of manners.
4 @
We don't even wave at nobody no
more becuz for all we know it might
turn out to be Secretary Stimson
or Mrs. Roosevelt. The Lear thing
maid the army awful careful. But
I hope the people let up on General
Lear becuz I hear he had plenty of
excuse for being upset. I hear he
was nine strokes on a par four hole
and still 125 yards from the green
when the soldiers you hooed. And
not only that but he had gave his
opponent a stroke a hole. Anything
wood've made him soar.
Well so much for that. I got the
heavy sox in case I get to Iceland.
Tell Irene Mahoney if I get to Ire-
land I will look up her old man.
Love,
Oscar.
Not much headway can be
found in making the world fit
to live in again until somebody
invents a tank-proof treaty or
develops a hog-proof man.
Beautiful models have paraded in
a style show before the draftees at
Camp Upton. The idea is to show
the soldiers what the well-dressed
Iceland woman will not wear.
25-CENT SPECIAL
There's one thing I can't do, I've
found,
No matter how I try.
I cannot get my mouth around
A sandwich three decks high.
Merrill Chilcote.
It
We have seen the photos of
Marshal Semyon Budenny of the
Russian forces, and think this is
the first time a panzer mustache
has been used in the war.
HERE'S HOPING !
When the Hitlers cease to hittle
And the "Mussies" mus.s no more
Then may humans sit and whittle
With no further thoughts of war.
It appears that Uncle Sam has
decided to cease bundling with the
Bunds.
a
TRAFFIC NOTE
Any tricks
Are rather risky
When you mix
Your gas and whisky.
Sensibility's Hands I with
Sensibility would be a good por-
1
tress if she had but one hand;
you better than
not. He must
were the
"ARE AN
INFLUENTIAL
PERSON
As a matter of
hold the
hands. He
benefitbYl
ment, b5
?